I caught a glimpse of her yesterday at work, just staring at me with that scowl on her face. I could almost read her mind: “There’s that stupid Dennis over there, in one of his stupid pullovers.” I decided—quite correctly, I think—to leave it alone.
Anselm Bligh, A Collection of Miniatures.
Sir, I will use the expression “shan’t” whenever I see fit to use it. And neither you nor anyone else will impede me. Is that clear, Peterson? Is that clear?
Karl Buckling, Time Domain Blues.
Walter was mowing the lawn again. “I want to take my own sweet time,” he declared. “Don’t I? Isn’t that what I want? Well, isn’t it?”
Jason Starling, ed., Adventures in Narrative Parsimony.
“They are musicians, Danny. They mean us no harm. They want to make us hop. Up and down. Just like bunny rabbits.”
Nicholas Bruhns, Otto the Magpie.
wreck ‘n’ rule
Andrew Tertullian, Pandora’s Ponderous Puns.
forecasting the whether
Andrew Tertullian, Pandora’s Ponderous Puns.
The subjunctive mood is so reassuring.
Godfrey Tooke, Collected Aphorisms.
Any design is a red herring.
Godfrey Tooke, Collected Aphorisms.
“Well, they are paid to smile aren’t they?” demanded Raymond, in a mild exasperation. “I mean, what is a sociopath?”
James Finial, The Misadventures of Caroline.
Assumptions are facts within the world, not facts about the world.
Godfrey Tooke, Collected Aphorisms.
dennis scharnberg 