The Terra-Bessie
I met a girl with hair quite red
She asked me over to tea
Her mother toasted, then buttered the bread
The daughter served it to me
We sat together and sometimes I read
And passed the time gaily till three
When I turned to her (with many things said)
And she shared her kisses with me
[schoolboy poem, age 14]
Wilson Callender, The Shorter Poems.
I’ll place this crown upon her head
Its gleam of gold with hair so red
There’s one who shines amid the rest
The Terebesy girl is just our best
[schoolboy poem, age 13]
Wilson Callender, The Shorter Poems.
“Let me tell you what I have found out, Jenkins. I’ve found that a female simply won’t know what to do if a man addresses her as sir.“
Pryce Cummings, Rattle Box.
“I’d like to stir her porridge, Lawson. I certainly would!”
Jonathan Steed, Down Under.
metal illness
Andrew Tertullian, Pandora’s Ponderous Puns.
puns and noodles
Andrew Tertullian, Pandora’s Ponderous Puns.
Anna was going on about how her gutters were now “clog-free” for life. It seemed to be some sort—I don’t know really—some sort of contract. But I never could get her to specify exactly what it was.
Anselm Bligh, A Collection of Miniatures.
Sometimes I find that contemporary art is so slight that it isn’t fair to laugh at it.
Hill Boothby, Essays on Disappointment Management.
Almost everyone is not a philosopher.
Travis Hilliard, The Private Language.
When we are free to do whatever we want, we can’t seem to do anything that is interesting.
Logan Nygaard, A Treatise on Amusement.
