dennis scharnberg

“Do you play golf at all, Dennis?”

“Miniature golf. In my head.“

Marston Moore, Sweet Meteor of Death.

The doubt of the skeptic is directed only outward. It is a display.

Tanner Holtz, Remembering, an Introduction.

“You make me seem a horrible person,” uttered Tom, in a theatrical voice. “Well, maybe you are horrible,” replied Emily. Tom pretended to be stunned, before stating quite solemnly that he could produce at least a dozen people who would disagree firmly with that imputation.

Connor Archibald, Nothing in Particular.

“Ugly is the new beautiful,” whispered Tanner, so smoothly.

Deane Horsewald, Grift-O-Rama.

Looking upon her for the first time, as she stood in a doorway, he whispered, “I know that girl.” But what he actually thought was that he already loved her. That he had loved her before. Somehow, and somewhere, he had loved her before.

Will Dowland, World Without End.

Joan Jett’s nearly forgotten early masterpiece: “I Admire Rock ‘n’ Roll”.

Carter Seagraves, The Realm of Anti-Humor.

“Artist retreat? Why would an artist need a retreat? Being an artist is a retreat.”

Chase Tipton, Enjoying Prison Pizza.

“But what does pizzazz mean?”

“It means sex, Wilkins, just like all the other words.”

Haskell Wexler, Paradise, the Novel.

On that cold damp morning in November, Mr. Ambrose felt that there could not be a more ridiculous world.

Victoria Salt, ed., A Compendium of Opening Lines.

Elbow day

Oh, elbow day!

May a bit of bruising

Come my way.

Patrick Malmsey, Manifest Toe. (from Book III)