dennis scharnberg

“In sleep, I am beside myself,”  laughed Bob.   “I am fit to be tied.”

                                        Sebastian Sleeve,  The Random Walk and Other Stories.

Sure, I might be run over and killed, but at least I get to look down at my palm while crossing the street.  And at least I get to examine a photograph of a very special kitten wearing an amusing hat.  Sure, the picture is only the size of a baseball card, but who wants to notice one’s surroundings?

Jason Starling, ed., Adventures in Narrative Parsimony.

Commonplace phrases:  (1) quickly and quietly,  (2) to and fro,  (3) modulus of elasticity,  (4) deep sea fishing,  (5) giant among men,  (6) sleeping rough,  (7) lost and found,  (8)  horse play,  (9) cheap psychology,  (10) if and only if,  (11) giveth and taketh,  (12) eye to eye,  (13) through thick and thin,  (14) all manner of things,  (15) ear to the ground,  (16) day after day after day.

Tessa Fielding and Constance Gogarty, A Book of Lists.

“I’m just an ordinary person,”  said Desmond.   “I could never really know anything, could I?  I mean, nothing important.  Nothing like that.“

Kiefer Sythe,  The Detective Club.

“He is certainly good at what he does, Alice.”   “Well, yes.  But the question remains:  What does he do?  Just what does he do?”

Rhonda Carstairs,   A Bad Case of the Whim-Whams and Other Stories.

“Kathleen is hirsute.   Nothing more.   And nothing less.”   The task at hand was to give a concise description of someone you know.

Charles Jeffrey Yett, Writing in Miniature—Vol. Three.

Above all else, it was Malcolm’s lack of ability that fascinated Edmund.  Although “fascinated” might be the wrong word.

Dell Arbogast,  The Null Hypothesis and Other Stories.

December 8, 2010.  I hereby reject the following expressions: creativity,  leadership,  national conversation,  conversation,  balanced,  sharp legal mind,  great writer,  influential artist,  art writer,  creating memories,  rubbish heap.

Reginald Boyington,  Dear Dreadful Diary.

March 21, 2014.  Am I satisfied?  Am I upset with things?  Well, none of that.  But this:  What is it like?  What is life like?  Of course, no one alive really thinks about that.  And then there is this question:  Why must life be like something?

Reginald Boyington,  Dear Dreadful Diary.

Then, Mr. Ambrose surprised everyone by asking, “Don’t you think it would be somewhat less pointless if you were to _________ instead of _________?”   The reader should feel free to fill in these blanks (and any subsequent blanks).

Ralston Dowd,  The General Ghastliness.