An art historian is a person who believes that old paintings came into existence so that they might—eventually—be addressed in a lofty academic language.
Orson Tatterhouse, The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp.
Modern people trust habitual liars.
Godfrey Tooke, Collected Aphorisms.
Resentment is a consumer product.
Godfrey Tooke, Collected Aphorisms.
oughtism
Andrew Tertullian, Pandora’s Ponderous Puns.
Willis Humphrey, known by some as Naughty Humphrey, stated that in the twenty-first century—and for the first time in history—the men are more ludicrous than the women.
Edward Valerian, The Empire Is Maintained.
Mr. Bryce was telling anyone who would listen—including strangers—that the silent “e” in his name was extremely silent.
Adrian Caliban, The Magnificent Egglestons.
Shake, Rattle, and Rule
Andrew Tertullian, Pandora’s Ponderous Puns.
“At that point,” stated Upchurch, “some kind of cycle will have come to an end.”
Hollis Beddoes, Counting the Magpies.
“When in doubt, go directly to bird calls,” said Evan. “Surely, that is Rule Number One.” Then, suddenly, he started in: “Caw, caw! Caw, caw, caw! Caw, caw, caw, caw!”
Anselm Bligh, A Collection of Miniatures.
Rock ‘n’ roll was the death of a culture. It was a Totentanz.
Logan Nygaard, A Treatise on Amusement.
