dennis scharnberg

hatful of jokes

Modernism was a series of tactics—or clever ideas (some more clever than others)—with the intention being to generate absurdities.

Logan Nygaard, A Treatise on Amusement.

magpie coin thievery

What does the internet distract us from?

Roger Hedgecook, Stolen and Sold for Parts.

jelly and jam

It is easier to make a person worse than to make him better. That is the key to historical decline. And it guarantees that decline.

Charles Brookland, Walking the Plank.

grab some debt

Therefore shall I discover thee, and

Waketh thee from dreame.

Addison Prosper, Roderigo’s Revenge. (1621)

get your kicks

Job: an activity that can be audited by a manager.

Clive Morrow, A Crustacean’s Dictionary.

let’s be clear

Unless I am mistook upon’t,

That were Twelfth Night proper.

And that day were rough all round— all

gray and gruesome.

And a cold time we had of it, sir.

Addison Prosper, Roderigo’s Revenge. (1621)

world without windows

“Where is the Truth found? Lying at the bottom of a well.”

Heywood Wakefield, The Humdrum Demon.

experience luxurious upgrades

“Repudiate all prizes,” said Old Man Martens, in his gentlest voice. “And all those that give ’em.”

Stacie Knotts, Crazy Days.

discarded items underfoot

“Good Lord, is it all theatre?” That was the question that Dennis posed. In his prayer. On his seventy-second birthday.

Edward Valerian, The Empire Is Maintained.

.com without end

“Listen to me, Janie. Magpies are obsessed with shiny things. Just like interior decorators.”

Chase Tipton, Enjoying Prison Pizza.