dennis scharnberg

destroy all shrubberies

“Well of course I’m not sure, Deborah. I’d have to consult with the Marketing Department before I could claim anything like certainty.”

Stoke Twombly, The Tragedians.

life without parole

The Question of the Century is the one that nobody asks.

Roger Hedgecook, Stolen and Sold for Parts.

upgrade your experience

“Some things just are preposterous, Dorothy. And when they are, I like to point it out. I call that lending a hand.”

Park V. Kessler, Nearly Music.

crying a river

“What idiotic dancing,” said Mr. Rawlings, contemptuously. And he uttered not a single word for the rest of the evening.

Chase Tipton, Enjoying Prison Pizza.

unidentified crawling objects

He had that way of walking straight up to someone—to a complete stranger—and declaring, “Well, I hope you’re happy now.” Right to his face. With animated sarcasm.

Heywood Wakefield, The Humdrum Demon.

all is order

What justifies use of the word “likely”?

Titus Musgrave, Carthago Delenda Est.

pixie on mushroom

Tom had purchased a bullhorn at a yard sale. He now stood outside Lisa’s window, and spoke in a calm serious voice. “It’s time for your trigonometry lesson. It is now time. Qui tollis peccata mundi. Qui tollis peccata mundi. It’s time to move. It is now time to move.”

Charles Jeffrey Yett, Writing in Miniature—Vol. Three.

oh my gosh

We must maintain our vigilance, even while asleep.

Constantine Aviola, Chandu the Magician.

suckers mugs punters

I seem to recall that he was trying to reposition some sort of cabinet, fully laden. “Look at me,” he had said. “I am struggling with this damned thing. Doesn’t that count for something?”

Marston Moore, Sweet Meteor of Death.

open plan layout

Nicki arrived at tranquil after four long hours of uproarious. That was one afternoon at a public house, on a gloomy autumn Wednesday.

Park V. Kessler, Nearly Music.