dennis scharnberg

“It became evident to me that Barney had obtained singing lessons. Bad ones.”

Will Bestwyck, Letters From Mr. Palindrome.

There is something metallic about digital photos. Along with an almost legislated absence of flaws. They look like ads.

Roger Hedgecook, Stolen and Sold for Parts.

Nothing today fails to be theater.

Hunter Hogarth, Raised by Wolves.

“I am perfectly confident in your ability to endure puzzlement.” Lord Harry was speaking to Eleanor, but he intended the remark for the entire gathering.

Jason Starling, ed., Adventures in Narrative Parsimony.

How can we see to it that everyone suffers equally?

Godfrey Tooke, Collected Aphorisms.

“If he didn’t want to be dead, perhaps he shouldn’t have been in the lion cage. Did you ever think of that?”

Silas Burbage, The Adventurous Half-Life of Buddy Boyo.

“And he told me—smiling all the while—that he was hoping for the best Apocalypse ever.”

Tristan Holyoke, A Tree Full of Monkeys.

They will say that such and such begs the question. What they mean is that it begets a question.

Alex Twist, A Primer of Posturing.

“Among other things, he asked me if I thought that OJ was still searching for the real killer.”

Diana Moone, Living Well.

In English, any typographical error is potentially a pun.

Logan Nygaard, A Treatise on Amusement.